


Regress

by CasualDanger



Series: Voltron Drabbles [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Mentioned Krolia (Voltron), Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 01:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16777012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualDanger/pseuds/CasualDanger
Summary: Sometimes it's easier to go back to an old bad habit than keep up with a new one.





	Regress

The backslide was slow -- maybe that's why neither Keith nor the others had noticed until he had firmly planted himself back into the "lone wolf" category, skulking around the Garrison meetings as if he hadn't been invited, expected even to contribute as the Black Paladin.

Krolia was gone; she absconded with Kolivan the moment she was needed elsewhere. Kosmo went with them in Keith's stead, as much a Blade he imagines as Keith ever was. And then, just like shrugging his old, worn jacket on, he comfortably slipped back into old habits. Before Voltron, before Black, before Red, before Kerberos, before _space_ , it was _Earth_ that had battered him, honed him into a shape that fits only in a fight, not in a family.

So, he trains. Goes back to fighting with Griffin, gives Iverson the evil eye and crossed arms, stalks and stomps his way through free time, and rises to every morsel of bait that Lance flings his way. 

Really, that's were he fucked up. If this were actually _before_ , Lance would never catch wise to the fact that Keith was in some abstract way "not alright." But this Earth is different, a survivor, an _after_ , and Lance is, too. Now reunited with his family, now secure in his spot on the team, Lance is only teasing, his inflection lacking the tinge and simmer and bite it used to have. And in the after -- of which there were plenty of moments where Lance leaned on Keith and Keith trusted Lance -- he doesn't expect to hear that wild, enraged intonation he thought went the way of the Castle of Lions.

Once or twice, he would have let slide, but now it's been a week with nothing but clean-up to do, and the edginess hasn't abated. Keith practically radiates the "don't fuck with me" vibes he gave off that Lance remembers from the mess hall at the Garrison, and it would make Lance nostalgic if he didn't consider Keith one-seventh of his little space family. As much as he wants to rope the others in, he hasn't seen them this happy and de-stressed since, well, ever, so he leaves them be. After all, he's the right hand -- he can do this.

Lance stays up that night, waits for the halls to be empty, and heads to the gym. His instincts are right, and he's rewarded with Keith Kogane Version I, a practical machine on the mat, all gas pedal, no brake, beating the absolute snot out of a training robot the Holts rigged up.

"Power off," Lance calls, and the thing falls to a heap. Keith looks surprised for a moment, but when he looks up to Lance it's only in frustration.

"What do you want?" he asks, voice cracking. In its stumble, Keith realizes those are the first words he's spoken all day.

Lance wills himself to be bold. Keith is as blunt as the come, and if Lance tries to dance around this, he'll fail.

"What's been going on with you lately?" Lance asks.

"Nothing," Keith says, and moves to leave. Lance dodges quickly in front of him.

"Dude, you can talk to me. You're not acting like yourself and-"

"I'm acting exactly like myself, Lance," he grits out. "Out of my way."

"Or what? You gonna punch me?"

"What?" Keith stumbles back. "No. You really think that I'd hit you for that?"

"I think old Keith might have."

"Yeah, well, you're wrong," Keith grumbles. "We didn't know each other then."

"But we do now." Lance puts a tentative hand on Keith's shoulder. "We're friends, Keith. I can't believe I still have to remind you, but we are. Now, what's going on? Do you miss your mom? Your space wolf? Movie night? Because we're still doing that last one, you just haven't shown up."

Keith slumps even further into himself. Suddenly, the remorse hits him, His relapse into a loner hadn't just affected him.

"Look," Keith sighs, meeting Lance's eyes, "I'm sorry I've been a bad friend recently. I'll figure it out." Again, he moves to leave.

"Keith, jeez, stop! I don't _care_ about that. I'm trying to get you to let me in so I can help you figure it out." 

"You can't," Keith says, and it's almost nonchalant, casual. Lance blinks so hard he thinks he can hear it.

"Yes, I can," he says.

"No, you can't."

"Uh, yeah, I can!" Lance lightly punches Keith's shoulder. "I'll have you know I'm really helpful."

"No, you can't, Lance!" Keith finally yells, his eyes glass. Lance hopes he keeps the shock off his face, but he doubts it. "You can't help me because it's not a problem! Okay? I'm just being stupid and self-absorbed because you guys-" he cuts himself off and hides his face in his bangs.

Lance swallows thickly. He's not afraid, not of Keith, but the tension feels like he's standing on thin ice above a vast ocean. One wrong move and it'll all be lost.

"You can tell me," Lance says. "You can tell me anything and I won't be mad, or offended; I won't think you're a bad friend or leader. Trust me. You have before."

Fists clenched at his side, shoulders trembling and tense, Keith doesn't know when exactly he let Lance in, let them all in, but he did and now here he stands, trying to hold a door closed against someone who's been given the key.

 _A piece,_ his soul is telling him, or maybe it is Black. Maybe, even, it is Red. _If not the whole, give him a piece._

"My father's buried not far from here," he says. It is a piece. "I was little when he died, and I went to the funeral, but I don't remember the name or the plot and I never went back -- no one would ever take me -- so now I don't know where he is." Another piece, flowing freer. "And all those families I was with, _all_ those fucking families, I hated every one of them and they hated me, but not a single one has shown up here." He's rambling now, not even sure why or how he's disclosing this. "I don't even want to see them but somehow, it still sucks? And I don't know what to _do_ with any of that, I don't know where to put it. I didn't want to go back to the way it was, but it's what I _know_. And you guys all have real families, who were waiting for you, who didn't just meet you by fucking accident, and I'd never take you away from that, but I just, I just-" his voice cracks, and he whispers, "I just don't know where to put it anymore."

Against all odds, the tears have welled up in Keith's eyes but they haven't dropped. Lance, on the other hand, has two solid tracks of empathy on his face, and where he grabs at Keith and pulls him into a hug, Keith can feel the wetness on the side of his face.

"You put it on us," Lance says, his voice cracking as well. "You put it on us because we're your real family, and because we love you. I swear we do."

"I'm sorry," Keith says. Lance thinks it's absurd, but it is a clue slotting into place. He's never burdened them, any of them save Shiro, maybe, with something like this before. No family, no siblings, he does not know how Lance _wants_ to take it, to be leaned on.

They'll have to fix it later, patch up over the old wounds reopened. But for now, this will have to be enough.

"We can find out where your dad is," Lance says, "and we can ding dong ditch every shitty place you ever spent time in, if you want."

Keith snorts, and finally brings his arms up to complete the hug. Lance tightens his own grip.

They stand like that a while, teammates, leaning on each other until they both feel strong enough to stand on their own.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably trash but it broke my writer's block! Feel free to leave comments if you so choose. Thanks for reading!


End file.
